I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
