Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
