Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
