help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
