I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
