There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
