Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
