dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this just has baby written all over it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
