two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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