the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
