i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
