i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
