I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
