i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
