Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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