yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
