Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
