Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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