Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
