So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
