Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
