i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
