Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
