Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
