i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
