Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
