They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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