Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
