this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
