She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize