i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize