carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
