it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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