I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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