First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
