STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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