brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
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