this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
