Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
