I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
