I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Even my vagina gasped.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
