i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
