I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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