I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
