i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
