i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my shit smells like andre
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
