i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
