Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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