Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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