john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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