Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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