My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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