I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
