If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize