i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She told me I should be a condom model.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
