I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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