Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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