Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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