just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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