Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
