What a fucking waste of an outfit
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
