Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
