My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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